Age is Just a Number
by WhatIsAUsernameSeriously
Summary: Dipper finds a spell in the book that ages him enough so he can date Wendy! But how do people react, and is it worth it? A quick story, but be warned: contains references to the show and various overused jokes. Don't forget to rate and review! Chapters 4/6 completed. Next Chapter tomorrow.
1. Chapter 1: Just Friends

"Hey, Dipper!" called Wendy, who had finished texting on her phone outside. "You alright, dude?"

Dipper, having realized he was staring at Wendy from his window for at least a few minutes now, quickly got his senses back and called back nervously: "Y...Yeah! I had... um... a brain freeze!"

"For ten minutes?" called back Wendy, ignoring his nervousness. "Anyway, tell your uncle my Dad needs me, okay? There's a giant tree that needs chopping down!"

"O...Okay, sure!" said Dipper, still nervous.

Wendy gave him a thumbs up, got on her bike and rode away like the wind.

Dipper sighed. 'Darn, was it ten minutes, really!?' He thought.

"So how long was it this time, huh?"

"Gah!" shouted Dipper as he quickly turned away from the window, frightened. There on her bed, was none other than her sister.

"How long... were you there?" asked Dipper, slightly still in shock.

"Don't worry, I just only came into the room..." replied Mabel cheekily. "So, are you gonna answer me, Mr. Stalker?"

"I'm not stalking!" answered Dipper angrily. He then sat on his bed, looked at his shoes, and said bluntly: "About Ten minutes..."

"Really!?" asked Mabel. "That's about 2 minutes shorter than last time!"

"Wait, what?" said Dipper. He quickly looked back up and saw Mabel with a Notebook, which had various times on it. He then immediately got of the bed to see what was written on the notebook.

"You right down how long I stare at Wendy? Every time?" asked Dipper, who was quite confused.

"So what?" replied Mabel. "It's for your own good, and now..."

Mabel then put a sticker on Dipper's jacket, which said: 'You're a star!'

"Here's your congratulatory badge!" continued Mabel happily.

"Mabel... It's not a good thing to get a badge for spending less time staring at Wendy." said Dipper depressingly. "It's not a good thing to stare at Wendy at all. It's not a good thing to stare at anyone!"

"Then why do you do it then?" asked Mabel.

Dipper sighed. "I don't know..." he continued. "Just ever since Wendy said she knew I-"

Suddenly, the door opened, and a big figure poked it's head from behind the door...

"Sup dudes!" said Soos. "Who's got SILLY STRING!?"

"Soos, I'm... kinda having a moment here." said Dipper awkwardly. "Maybe, any other time... okay?"

"Oh, sorry dudes." said Soos, as he put is head back behind the door and closed it.

"Anyway, " continued Dipper. "Ever since Wendy said she knew that I l-"

"Is 'any other time' _now..._?" said Soos, rolling some Silly String under the door.

"Soos...!" answered Dipper, who was slightly annoyed.

"Haha, soz. Just messing with you guys." he replied as he went back downstairs.

"Now, as I was saying..." said Dipper. "Ever since Wendy said she knew I kinda... liked her... things haven't been the same. Because, now... I know I'm too young..."

Dipper slowly walked back towards the window, with Mabel watching him, as Dipper looked towards where Wendy was going.

"And I know... we will just have to be friends... and friends we will just be."


	2. Chapter 2: What does it Spell?

"You sure we're doing this now, dude? We could be having some SERIOUS fun with Silly String right now..." said Soos, nervously. "And um... I don't know what's gonna happen with just the two of us in Gravity Falls woods, I... I mean Bigfoot can come out from nowhere or something..."

"Relax, relax!" said Dipper, with a light on the bottom of his cap to reveal the invisible ink in the book. "Don't worry, the ink says all these spells are not harmful, that is... I think that's what it says... Plus, you don't have to stand still, its fine."

"Dude, I'm not standing still on purpose. It's that paralysis spell dude!" replied Soos awkwardly.

"...What paralysis spell? I haven't put any spell on you yet." said Dipper, slightly confused.

"Oh." said Soos, afterwards changing his position. After a short pause Dipper said; "So, not-harmful Spell no.1!"

"Faciam vos eaque quattuor... aeta...tem annos! Ne cures, non dolore tantum... sonant AURES!"

Suddenly, a puff of smoke came from the book, and both Soos and Dipper coughed as the smoke went in their lungs, knocking them out.

"Dipper! Dipper! Oh no, I can't believe it- look! Dipper!" called Soos.

Immediately, Dipper awoke with a slight ringing in his ears. "W... What's the problem!?"

"I have a beard!" exclaimed Soos. Dipper rubbed his eyes and saw indeed, Soos had a dark beard and moustache combo, and he looked overwhelmed with joy. Oddly, Soos had slightly more hair too.

"Oh, I thought it was the apocalypse..." said Dipper. "Anyway what happened, apart from you getting a better beard?"

"Nothing much, you said the spell, smoke came from the book, I awoke and I had this AWESOME BEARD and you seemed to age 4 years."

"Wait, WHAT!?" exclaimed Dipper. The ringing in his ears stopped and he realized his voice was much deeper. He got up, and found he was taller, almost as tall as Soos. His arms were slightly more muscular, his head was slightly longer, and there were a few small spots on his face.

"Oh my Gosh!" he exclaimed once again. "S...Soos, I'm guessing you're 4 years older too..."

"Woo!" said Soos. "I'm happy as long as I have beardy..." He then stroke his beard in awe. "Wait a second- that means you" he then interupted.

"Wait!" continued Dipper. "Gosh! Now I'm 4 years older I can be with Wendy!"

"No!" said Soos. "It means I missed 4 birthday parties! I need to tell my granny to order 4 birthday cakes!"

"Soos!" called Dipper, as Soos ran away towards his Granny's house.

Dipper then smiled, fist pumped in the air, picked up the book that was on the ground, and ran away in the opposite direction., ignoring the list of things on the opposite page in the book, entitled; 'Side Effects of this Spell'...


	3. Chapter 3: They grow so Fast

"Hey, who's there?" said Grunkle Stan as he entered the Laundry Room. "It better not be that emo teenage thief!"

He then immediately turned on the lights to reveal the now 16 year-old Dipper, searching through the washed clothes.

"Dipper!?" said Grunkle Stan, very surprised.

"Uh..." replied the older Dipper nervously." I... went through puberty yesterday..."

Grunkle Stan paused for a bit, then answered saying: "Well. It sure happens faster than it did back in the day..."

"You believe me!?" asked Dipper happily.

"Yeah, whatever. But now you've gone through puberty, I think we need a talk, kid."

"No, no, no! I'm fine..." said Dipper. "I'm just finding some clothes that can fit me."

"Your old clothes fit you fine!" replied Grunkle Stan. "Wait, that's strange, your old clothes fit you fine..."

"I bought some new ones!" said Dipper instantly. "But... haha... I'm older now, I need a change if clothes..."

"Whatever." said Stan, handing 5 $20 dollar bills to Dipper. "Have fun."

"Really!?"

"Yeah sure, " replied Stan. "Just don't let them try to see through those in broad sunlight. And also, when you're back- we need that conversation."

"Okay, I'm fine..." said Dipper. "Thanks Grunkle Stan!"

As Dipper ran out the room he bumped into someone, however, normally he would fall over but now, being much taller, he simply brushed it off.

"Oh, sorry-" began Dipper, when he realized it was Mabel he bumped into.

"Sorry sir!" said Mabel, unaware that it was Dipper, until she looked up at him. Confused... she then said: "Dipper...?"

"Sorry Mabel, gotta run! Explain later!" he said, as he rushed out the door towards town.

Mabel stared at the direction Dipper ran too as Grunkle Stan patted her back. "What was that?" asked Mabel to Stan.

"Puberty." said Stan. "It happens to all of use eventually..." Suddenly, Stan blew his nose. "They grow up so fast..." he said as he started to cry.

Suddenly, Mabel realized the book fell out of Dipper's pocket, yet Stan hadn't. While Stan was still crying, Mabel picked up the book and tucked it in her Jumper.


	4. Chapter 4: Pork-Scratching their Heads

"I knew it!" said Mabel, sitting on the table chair, with a flashlight in one hand. "Dipper must've used this spell to age him! I knew puberty won't come for another 2 years! Right, Lord Mystery Ham?"

Waddles, who was sitting next to Mabel on the opposite chair, oinked in agreement.

"Wait a second..." said Mabel. "There's a list of side effects here... You think Dipper read them?"

Waddles oinked in agreement.

"Me neither! Dipper never reads the side effects." replied Mabel in glee. "Let's see... reversible if read backwards... affects all those nearby... nay-uh-see-ah... cough... lasts forever..."

Waddles oinked.

"What? The last part?" asked Mabel.

Waddles oinked again.

"Lasts forever?" exclaimed Mabel. "Wait a second, Dipper can't stay like that FOREVER! I would miss 4 years of his life..."

"Mabel!" shouted Grunkle Stan rushing into the room. "It's a disaster! Wendy is off work and Soos as disappeared! That means there's no one at the counter and I can't make money! So..."

"Sorry, Grunkle Stan." replied Mabel seriously. "I need to talk to Dipper." She then rushed out the Mystery Shack towards town, leaving Stan and Waddles at the table.

"So..." Stan said to Waddles. "Want to make a quick buck, Pig?"

"That's $80, kid." said the big man at the shop counter.

"Haha..." began Dipper arrogantly." I have you know, I'm officially a teenager."

"Are you gonna pay me or what, kid?" repeated the man.

Dipper reluctantly gave the man the money, when he noticed Soos in the same store.

"Soos? What are you doing here?" asked Dipper.

"Well, dude, heheh... I can't really fit into the other clothes back at my place so..." replied Soos nervously. "But look at this! A glow-in-the-dark Bathrobe. Now that's hip, yo."

"Yeah..." said Dipper awkwardly. He then turned away, and said to himself; "Now this may be the only time I need a makeover..."

"Dipper?" called Mabel, walking around the town. "Dipper? We need to talk!"

She then saw a tall guy with a cap and sunglasses. She ran up to him quickly, saying: "Have you seen Dipper?"

"N... no..." said Dipper, trying to put on an accent. He then saw Mabel had the book.

"Hey, do you mind if I borrow that book?" said Dipper nervously. "I... I like it."

"No!" said Mabel. "It's Dipper's."

Dipper sighed. 'If I only I could tell you, Mabel.' he thought. 'But you can't interfere with my plans...'

Dipper then took the book away from Mabel's hands and legged it.

"Hey!" shouted Mabel, running after him. However, due to the age difference Dipper managed to get away.

"Oh, no." said Mabel. "I need to find Dipper now as soon as possible!"


End file.
